Blessings I Could Have Missed

I stood in the kitchen as rolls of laughter came flowing down from the upstairs bedrooms. The 6 kids were all playing together, some imaginary game, that had them all enjoying themselves. As I smiled at sound, the thought came to my head, "I so easily could have missed this."

What if I had said no to God. What if I had said, "God it is too hard." It was hard. It was too hard for me. I could not do it alone. And in the hard, the ugliness of my sin was on full display. I had to choose. Am I going to deal with this sin? Am I going to bring it into the open, call it what it is, and not rationalize it away? Or am I going to hide my sin, and blame it all on the circumstances, and others, and continue on in my life and ignore the conviction of God?

If you have read my other blog you know that music is a large part of my life. I have struggled lately with several songs on the radio; songs that say God is giving you circumstances to make you stronger, or another that tells you that God will not give you more than you can take. You see in my experience God definitely brought me to a place where the circumstances were more than I could take, and I was in no way made stronger through it. I realized that I was weak. I was nothing, without God. The song "Strong Enough" by Matthew West sums up my feelings on the subject quite well.

But back to the blessings... God used all that hard, all the facing of my sin to prepare me for today. I have said many times and will say again, "Things were so hard with our first foster daughter that it makes adding three more kids to our family easy." It does not mean every day is simple, but it does mean that I have a better perspective. I am so thankful that God gave me the hard. I am thankful for Angel. My heart still aches for her. I am so thankful for what I learned. Because without it, I would not be able to see the blessing. I would be micro managing the frustrations, and squabbles of the day, instead of soaking in the laughter.